Putting the "WHY?!?!" in Wyoming

So...our vacation is over and we're back in West Des Moines. After a week of camping, hiking, deserts and forests, what did we learn? One thing....do not ever end your vacation, when you just want to get home, with a drive through the never ending abyss that is Wyoming. Before we get to the joy of the trip, let's begin with the end. We left Yellowstone at 5:00 in the late afternoon yesterday knowing we had, according to Google Maps, a 15 hour drive ahead of us. As we set off, the signs said 100 miles to Cody, Wyoming followed by 90 miles to Sheridan (after which time we figured we'd be free and clear of Wyoming, on the Interstate, and maybe grab a hotel for the night). To make a long story short: 6 hours, 1 1/2 tanks of gas, 15 miles of unpaved mountain roads, 9 deer and 1 moose crossing later....we were still 30 miles shy of getting out of Wyoming. I still don't know how you can have to drive down out of a mountain 5 different times...without ever driving back up one - but that's the mystery of Wyoming. In the end, with all of that lost time, we had to just power through, drive the night, and get back home at 1:00 this afternoon...weak!

However, overall this was a great trip. Building on the last blog, here are some more highlights:

Food: We tried a lot of different foods on the grill. The ribs were great...the grilled onion, pineapple and cantaloupe were wonderful...the bacon and pancakes worked - except for the day we had no syrup...and the best may have been Noah's hand made snickers stuffed bananas. What didn't work was a little recipe I found on-line for cinnamon rolls. Take an orange, cut it in half, dig out the orange, put in the cinnamon roll dough, put the orange back together and cook in the coals. What the recipe didn't say was - wait 30 minutes, remove from the coals, and pour out the melted raw cinnamon dough. I don't like oranges or salmonella enough for this recipe.

Heidi's near death experiences: Roughing it in the wilderness leaves you open to the elements and it is best to be cautious. Heidi lived by this mantra and narrowly diverted disaster several times. We went lounging in the boiling river, where hot springs poor into the Gardiner river. This was beautiful and relaxing...until the moment Heidi, blind without her glasses, started drifting away, caught in the current, nearly swept away eventually to the pacific ocean.

Heidi managed to avoid most of the other dangers by refusing to get out of the car. While I ran with my camera along with dozens of other spectators to get pictures of bears, elk and big horned sheep...Heidi quickly locked the door to avoid the chipmunks. To be fair - she did eventually come out to see a young Grizzly and held control of the car when a moose darted out within 10 yards of her.

Noah and Desi: Unfortunately, we only got to spend one day with them, but they came along at just the right time when our supplies had run out. Without them we wouldn't have had forks, plates, pillows, bug spray, or bear spray (which both relieved and terrified Heidi). It was so much fun to get to know Desi more and we had a great time with them both.

Great Salt Lake: For our outdoor, camping and hiking adventure, we decided to spend Wednesday at one of America's great features - watching Harry Potter at an air conditioned theatre with a pizza hut inside it. Afterwards, however, we went to the Great Salt Lake. It has several rivers running into it and then bakes in the Utah sun with no natural outlet and leading to an incredibly high salt content. All of this results in two things - a beautiful natural scene and a god awful putrid smell. We drove out, holding our breath, and then hiked out to swim in the lake. The island we were on was called Antelope Island and so we were excited to see what we assumed would be herds of hundreds of antelope...instead, we saw thousands and thousands........of spiders. I don't know where the antelope were, but I can tell you were the spiders were. Their webs covered every bush and rock and they glistened in the sun as if from the most horrifying nightmare ever.

Arches National Park: It appears that we are not quite conditioned enough for hiking in the 100 degree desert sun. When we saw children and the elderly walking back from Delicate Arch we figured we'd give it a go. We scaled the hill - about 250 feet - and then, after catching our breath, dripping with sweat, having finished all of our water we looked out for the arch. All we saw, however, was a mountain, which apparently had to be scaled in order to get to the arch. We decided to power through and started off toward the mountain....for about 30 seconds....then we looked back....looked down at our empty water bottles....looked up at the scorching sun....and turned around. After all, there's a perfectly good look out spot a mile drive away - there's air conditioning there.

All in all...this was a wonderful trip. We got to go explore the West, like adventures of old, and after 60 hours in the car driving and being together 24-7 all week in a tent...we ....uh...we.....still.......stop it.... don't tell me what to type.....why don't you take a shower already......go sit on the other couch....I'm out of here....finish this yourself................love each other.

Don't forget to check out dylandbaker.shutterfly.com to see a selection of photos from the trip (tomorrow - we're going to bed now).

Well, it's the beginning of day 4 of our 2009 Summer Road Trip Extravaganza and we're finally able to write a blog. We were hoping to write one sooner, but it turns out none of our National or State Parks are set up with wireless access yet - of course, there has been wireless at each of the six Starbucks we've stopped at....but we always have to keep moving...we've got a lot of miles to cover. Anyway, here are some highlights of the last few days:

Heidi: I want to take you on a brief "Tour of Restrooms" from our great nation.

Small town, Nebraska - this gas station restroom is not for the faint-of-heart. In this facility, you'll find old food on the sinks, stalls with damaged doors that you have to keep shut with one foot, and possibly two to three cockroaches (one of which may still be alive and moving around just below your feet).

Rifle Falls, CO- imagine you're in the woods and you have to chose between going to the bathroom behind a bush or using a random portapotty. which do you choose? If you chose the port-a-potty, you'd be mistaken. In this bathroom, you'll smell a thick and stale aroma that reminds you of very old leftovers. There will be flies doing their thing around the very top of the toilet. And don't expect to wash your hands after you're done. No sinks in this bano. Next time, go with peeing behind the bushes.

Rifle Gap State Park, CO- if you have a sense of adventure, check out this outdoor restroom. Many campers frequent this facility just for the fun of what lies behind the doors. While you're doing your thing, you'll be wanting to have a nice, secure place to do it in. Not going to happen here. The door has a mind of its own and will not, under any circumstance, shut. not. going. to. happen. You'll never know who or what will try to sneak in while you're going to the bathroom. See? Outdoor living can be fun!

Dylan: The one thing we've done a lot of on this trip is drive. I don't mind driving, and I still don't after we've covered about 1200 miles (and are only half done). However, driving this new stretch of road has led to a few tense moments. First, there was the stretch in Nebraska where our rental car started making a strange whining noise and smelling of burnt rubber. At first I contributed this to the semi next to us, but once we passed it and the smell and sound remained, I began to get concerned. We took the next exit and checked things over...no flat tire, no fluids leaking, not dragging part of a deer carcass, nothing....so we pulled back on the interstate and tried to remain calm over the damage we may be causing to our rental car when we saw a sign - "This mile of highway made with 47,000 recycled tires".... now everything was clear. I'm all for conservation, but.......

Heidi was kind enough to help drive some of this trip. She took on quite a bit of Nebraska - where every mile feels like an eternity - even when listening to the amazing playlist I compiled for the drive. However, when it comes to mountain driving...that's another story all together. I knew I would drive most of this, but I didn't know Heidi would hyperventilate just riding along in the passenger's seat. I don't know if it was the shear drop offs with no guard rail, ramps specifically designed for runaway semi trucks, warnings of falling rocks, or signs telling what to do if your brakes fail, but it was all a little too much for her. I also learned a lesson about turning over the wheel too soon. We were through the mountains and back onto flat ground when Heidi offered to drive. I agreed, thinking I could use some rest. I was just drifting off to sleep when I was awoken by the sound of a loud and pressured "Dylan!" I woke up expecting to see us careening off a cliff or swerving to miss falling boulders, but instead the problem was that there was a mountain, off in the distance, that we might...at some point...be driving in to.

Well, there's a lot more to say, and we'll be sure to write more (especially since we have a hotel for another night). So for now we're going to go lay down on our individual plush pillow top mattresses (they were out of King rooms, and while neither one of us wanted to admit it, after two nights in a tent - after we forgot to bring pillows - having to have a room with two queen beds, one for each of us, actually sounded pretty good).

Have a great day...we will!

It's in the Bag

I haven't been camping in close to 17 years. The last time I went camping, I woke up my dad in the middle of the night thinking I saw an alien in the sky. Things are foggy after that...(and no Dad, the alien did not abduct me and erase my memory). Well, hold on to your seats folks because Dylan and I are getting ready to set out for a week-long adventure filled with CAMPING!

**I promise to write a longer blog about it later, but until then...enjoy the pictures of my favorite part of camping:

Dylan and I just got our new sleeping bag in the mail! I love it soooo much, that I am going to post another picture of me in it. Lucky you!

Yeah for new queen sized extra warm, super cool, amazingly awesome...SLEEPING BAGS!

Mary Kay (Dylan and I are seriously trying to think of a witty title)

Question. What would you do if you were invited to have lunch with a coworker (who just happens to be your Mary Kay rep)? And what would you do if said coworker tells you that she wants to grab some food and talk about the benefits of becoming a Mary Kay rep? If you answered "run like hell", good for you. I should have done just that.

I was excited to have lunch today with an actual human being. I usually spend my lunches eating alone, looking out the window at birds or overly ambitious coworkers jogging during their lunch break. Here's what I had envisioned for lunch today: me. coworker. talk of Mary Kay (very minimal), a fresh salad and key lime pie. Sadly, none of that really happened. Not even the food part. I met my coworker downstairs at the place I work (I'm not authorized to blog about my place of business...neat). She seemed a little preoccupied by something, so I said, "what's going on?" Her reply? "I'm waiting for my district manager to come down and talk to you about being a Mary Kay representative. She should be here any minute."

WHAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I had not planned on talking to some stranger about starting my own business. I had planned on eating a glorious piece of key lime pie. But, being the person I am I said "Oh, okay. Ummm...just so you know, I don't have time to sell Mary Kay." "No problem, it's no pressure...no obligation. She's pretty nice."

Well, "she" walked in the doors wearing head-to-toe pink and carrying a hot pink Mary Kay bag full of products. The three of us walked silently to the backest back, farthest far table in the dining hall. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with that, right? Either way, "she" (I'll call her Pinks) started asking about me, Dylan and what products I currently use. "I can tell by looking at your eyelashes that you've been using our Miracle line of mascara!" said Pinks. I just nodded. I wasn't going to tell her that I use regular stuff...I'm just lucky to have freakishly long eyelashes.

Ten minutes quickly passed with her saying things like, "Holly, you'll fit right in with our family." and "Nowadays, women can do anything they want...they just need some encouragement" and "Don't you want to make other women feel good about themselves?" Just when I thought I'd answer with a sarcastic ''no'', my coworker,...the one who arranged this whole sit-and-chat...had to leave. I was left alone with Pinks.

With no food in my belly and my lunch break waaay over with, I finally told Pinks that I had to go. She gave me a personality test and invited me to an Eye Cream seminar that was to be held tonight (I thought writing a blog sounded more fun!). "I'll call you tomorrow to hear the good news!" said Pinks. I even told her that I might be moving to Germany in a few months. "We sell Mary Kay there too!"

Tomorrow I will not answer my cell phone if I see Pinks is calling. I love Mary Kay too much to never buy any again...but now I must find a new sales rep...and piece of key lime pie!

In Honor of Allison

Today's my birthday.  Even though I've celebrated six birthdays without my twin sister, Allison, I still catch myself feeling a little uncomfortable when I say that phrase.  My birthday.  It used to be our birthday.  Our birthday cake.  Our day.  So as I sit at the computer with my eyes welling up a little bit, I want to dedicate this blog to one of the nicest people who ever lived...my beautiful twin, Allison.  Happy Birthday, Big Al.

Some of you reading this never got the chance to meet her.  I can tell you this much...she was a lot nicer than I am.  (I tell Dylan that and I think he finds it hard to believe sometimes).  When I was flat broke, I used to come to the Whistle Stop Cafe in Boone, where she worked part time as a waitress on Saturdays, and order the cheapest thing on the menu--a single pancake.  I think it only cost 89 cents.  I'd show up early with my two bucks (one dollar for my pancake, the other for a tip), find a moderately cleaned table, and wait.  Allison always made sure to wait on me.  She'd say, "what do you want", to which I'd respond, "you know.  My usual."  She'd roll her eyes and bring me a big glass of Dr. Slice and then a pancake.  But that was just for starters.  She'd use her own tip money to buy me a regular meal:  two eggs, bacon, and hash browns.  Then, she'd plop down next to me and eat.  And she never took a dime from me.  Ever.  But that was just her being her.  When she passed away, ALL of her customers from the Whistle Stop showed up to her funeral to pay their respects.  They loved her.  And I know that those of you who never met her would have loved her too.

And she loved being a twin.  She used to get upset if I rejected her idea of dressing up alike.  "C'mon, that's what twins do!" she'd say.  Yeah.  But we were in high school.  And there was no way I was about to change from wearing hot orange pants and Hawaiian shirts to khakis and 3/4 sleeved shirts.  Nope.  Allison used to get angry when people would say "You guys sure don't act like twins."  Like literally.  She'd cry and get so upset!  "What do they know?"  We used to test our 'twin powers' just to prove people wrong.  She used to say "Heidi, what part of my face am I touching?"  I'd concentrate very hard and make a guess.  "Your...nose?  I mean, Your nose!"  Nine times out of 10 I was wrong.  But we liked to test out our twin-ness once in awhile.  

I could go on and on about how wonderful Allison was.  She was taken away too soon, but I am truly fortunate to have known her for 22 years.  Happy birthday, Big Al!  

Opinion Section

Point/Counterpoint

Oh my god!  I actually went to a cat circus! 

 vs. 

Oh.  My.  God.  I actually went to a cat circus.

Oh my god!  I actually went to a cat circus! by Heidi 

Felines riding on skateboards.  A chicken ringing a bell.  The acrocats.  A woman wearing a cat leotard and proudly sporting cat ears.  Those were just a few of the wonderfully magical items I saw when I went to a cat circus.  A crowd of about 100 people gathered into a medium-sized room in the Des Moines Social Club.  Drinks were offered, cat conversations were created, and eyes grew bright with wonderment.  I never thought I'd see the day when three cats literally played instruments in a band called "The Rock Cats".  Izzy was my favorite cat.  He (or she?) was all white and was alright!  She/he leaped on shoulders.  She/he played the drums.  I fell in love a second time (after Dylan) when I saw her/him eat tuna from the stage floor.  I was only slightly annoyed that we had third row seats.  What?  Is it really necessary to let small children and people in wheelchairs have the front row?  C'mon!  The cats rocked my world.  The chicken and groundhog tried to steal the show...(rude much?)...but Izzy and Custard and Isis and the rest of the cat clan held their own and shined like little diamonds on cheap cat collars.  I just wish it would have lasted a little longer and I would have made the MC get rid of the awkward pauses in her stories.  overall, the cat circus was purrrrrfect.  It was the cat's meow!  I was feline good after the show.    

Oh.  My.  God.  I actually went to a cat circus.  by Dylan

So...when I saw there was a  cat circus coming to town I figured, "what nicer thing to do for Heidi than get her tickets."  While I had no doubt that it wouldn't be my cup of tea, I had no idea the hour of sheer horror I was locking myself into by buying these tickets.  To begin, there were grown women in cat t-shirts and cat sweatshirts, grown women wearing fake cat ears, grown women lecturing Heidi and I on only having one cat, and, of course, little children... many of whom looked just as embarrassed to be there as me.  Over the loud speaker came the music...to get you in the mood, I imagine... Cat Scratch Fever, Stray Cat Strut, and something that sounded not to different from the Meow Mix commercial.  The show opened with a warm up from other animals doing amazing tricks, such as  rats walking around, ferrets walking around, and a groundhog placed on a small car and then pushed back and forth across the stage....Amazing!!!  Then came the host, or ringleader if you prefer, in the traditional full body black leotard with purple rhinestone accents....Just like PT Barnum used to wear.  The circus (and that is absolutely an appropriate title for it) that followed was basically an hour of the equivalent of watching you neighbor try to show you the "great new trick we taught the cat.   Come on Felix....push the bell...come on....push it...do it for mama....I swear he was doing it before....come on now....you have to see it, it's the cutest thing....come on...ring the bell.  Wait, maybe if I put a treat on the bell.  now get it...come on....who wants a treat...push it.  Here, Felix, let me help you.  give me your paw....now lets put it on the bell.... 'RING'....yeah!!!!  Good job Felix.  Wasn't that great?"   Well, let me spare you all the suspense...No, no it wasn't great.  However, we did get to watch the ringleader briefly make out with the ferret - though I'm not sure that was supposed to be the memorable part.

La, la, la....

I'll be honest...this blog really doesn't have a point.  It's just a hodgepodge of ideas...a stream of thought...a filter less rant of recent events.  

1.  Right now, Dylan is in the living room watching The Masters.  I quickly learned that's it's not the best idea to ask questions on subjects that I:  A) have no desire to know the answer of, and B) know will require Dylan to make visual aids and diagrams to help me figure things out.  With that being said, I won't bug Dylan and his golf watchin'.  

2.  I attempted to change the background of our blog.  Because I love bird watching so darn much, I figured I'd go with a bird theme.  I did drag Dylan in here a bit ago to have him look at it.  His reaction?  ''Oh, God".  I think that means he likes it!!!!!  

3.  Speaking of birds, Dylan and I did a bunch of yard work today.  Even though I've been a little under the weather, I thought it would do me some good to dig around in the dirt and set out some bird food.  Dylan mowed the lawn (And yes, we did find a dead snake...in the neighbor's yard!).  We then found an old can of re fried beans with a "surprise" inside.  A video was taken of the aforementioned event, and I am trying HARD to have Dylan put it on our blog.  It's not quite ''Cat in the can" level, but it is a good film with drama, screams, and some laughter.  

4  If I don't hear back from my doctor on Monday, a scarier version of myself may make an appearance.  For every one's sake, please cross your fingers that the doc will call!

5.  I secretly want a squirrel for a pet.  I just think they're soooo cute and crazy!  Dylan, if you're reading this...I either want a squirrel or tickets to the Cat Circus for our one-year anniversary.  :)  Just kidding...

6.  Next time I write a blog, there will be a definite point to it.