Mary Kay (Dylan and I are seriously trying to think of a witty title)

Question. What would you do if you were invited to have lunch with a coworker (who just happens to be your Mary Kay rep)? And what would you do if said coworker tells you that she wants to grab some food and talk about the benefits of becoming a Mary Kay rep? If you answered "run like hell", good for you. I should have done just that.

I was excited to have lunch today with an actual human being. I usually spend my lunches eating alone, looking out the window at birds or overly ambitious coworkers jogging during their lunch break. Here's what I had envisioned for lunch today: me. coworker. talk of Mary Kay (very minimal), a fresh salad and key lime pie. Sadly, none of that really happened. Not even the food part. I met my coworker downstairs at the place I work (I'm not authorized to blog about my place of business...neat). She seemed a little preoccupied by something, so I said, "what's going on?" Her reply? "I'm waiting for my district manager to come down and talk to you about being a Mary Kay representative. She should be here any minute."

WHAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I had not planned on talking to some stranger about starting my own business. I had planned on eating a glorious piece of key lime pie. But, being the person I am I said "Oh, okay. Ummm...just so you know, I don't have time to sell Mary Kay." "No problem, it's no pressure...no obligation. She's pretty nice."

Well, "she" walked in the doors wearing head-to-toe pink and carrying a hot pink Mary Kay bag full of products. The three of us walked silently to the backest back, farthest far table in the dining hall. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with that, right? Either way, "she" (I'll call her Pinks) started asking about me, Dylan and what products I currently use. "I can tell by looking at your eyelashes that you've been using our Miracle line of mascara!" said Pinks. I just nodded. I wasn't going to tell her that I use regular stuff...I'm just lucky to have freakishly long eyelashes.

Ten minutes quickly passed with her saying things like, "Holly, you'll fit right in with our family." and "Nowadays, women can do anything they want...they just need some encouragement" and "Don't you want to make other women feel good about themselves?" Just when I thought I'd answer with a sarcastic ''no'', my coworker,...the one who arranged this whole sit-and-chat...had to leave. I was left alone with Pinks.

With no food in my belly and my lunch break waaay over with, I finally told Pinks that I had to go. She gave me a personality test and invited me to an Eye Cream seminar that was to be held tonight (I thought writing a blog sounded more fun!). "I'll call you tomorrow to hear the good news!" said Pinks. I even told her that I might be moving to Germany in a few months. "We sell Mary Kay there too!"

Tomorrow I will not answer my cell phone if I see Pinks is calling. I love Mary Kay too much to never buy any again...but now I must find a new sales rep...and piece of key lime pie!