Who lost 40 pounds?!

Wow!  Two blogs in one day...from two different people!  How lucky are you, our bakery customer?!  My little rant won't be too long at all.  I just wanted to say that I got my first paying voice over job this week!  It is for a company called "Complete Nutrition", based out of Omaha or Lincoln.  I was going to try to attach the commercial to this blog, but I don't know how.  Maybe it's not even possible.  Either way, if you'd like to hear it, I can email it to you!  The funniest part of the commercial is I get to say (rather excitedly) "I used it...and lost 40 pounds!".  Nothing like lying to consumers.  

I am going to say good bye for now, and get to work on more voice work.  If you want to check out my website...here it is:  www.voices.com/people/heidiabaker

And if you get bored someday and want me to make a commercial for you, I will...at little to no charge.  Just kidding.  I'll charge a lot.  

Digital Aversion

We all have our pet peeves...for example, mine include bringing a ziploc bag of veggies to a sporting event or airport, talking during a movie, balancing one's checkbook or doing other mundane activities during a movie, asking questions during a movie...really just doing anything during a movie other staring intently, eyes wide open, at the screen in front of you....unless of course the movie is Mamma Mia...which I've recently named the worst movie I've seen this year.  

Despite all of those annoyances...for the last year, the biggest thorn in my side has been the endless parade of commercials warning about the need for a digital conversion box.  With the move to digital broadcast signals, I realize there is a need for those without cable to get such a box.  In fact, I realize it every day...multiple times a day...constantly...as rarely does an hour go by without a public service announcement warning of it.  Between the constant advertisements, scrolling warnings, and announcements, you'd think there was some sort of Digital Hurricane on its way to destroy our lands, flood our crops, steal our pets, plunder and prune the hedges of many small villages (contest: who can identify that reference first?).  Needless to say, I've been anxiously awaiting February when the conversion would finally happen and we could rid the world of these announcements...in fact...I've been counting the time down with each ad I've seen.  

So...You can imagine my dismay when I learned last week that they will be delaying the conversion until this summer to give people more time to get ready.  I think the government, as it so often does, is overlooking true human nature.  If an entire year of being barraged with reminders has not forced you to go get a converter box, then I assure you that six more months won't matter.  As a perpetual procrastinator myself....I know how this works, and the only thing that would get me to go get a converter box would be to wake up one morning and have my TV not work.  

 

So, in the end, can we please just do the conversion already and move on with our lives.  I don't know why this issue became to object of my disdain, but it did.  And, like any good pet peeve, it may be completely irrational, but it's still driving me crazy.

(Temporary) Badge of Honor

So, let me start off by saying how excited I am to have a job that...pays!  It will be nice to bring home a paycheck once again!  That means I won't be donating plasma, selling cd's, or auctioning off Noel.  

I started at Wells Fargo today as a payment processor person (I don't really know my title, I'll be honest).  I have never worked for a large corporation, and sadly, it showed today.  The following are a few mini situations that occurred today--my first day at work:

1) When I entered the side door (the same door that Dylan and I scoped out days earlier, just to make sure I knew where to go) of Wells Fargo, I noticed it was A) a revolving door, and B) it wasn't moving--even when I pushed it.  A small line was forming behind me, which made me a bit anxious.  I asked one of the men behind me what I should do.  He looked annoyed and said "you aren't allowed to enter here.  You don't have a badge.  You have to go to that door".  (That door was located on the other side of the massive building).  oops.

2) After I made it inside of Wells Fargo, I had to check in with a security guard.  He asked me who I was and what my purpose was for being at Wells Fargo.  I said my name and told him I was to meet with Melissa.  "Melissa who?" he asked.  "I don't know," I replied.  "Then you can't enter.  You need to figure out her last name", the man said, as he pointed to the exit doors.  Are you kidding me?!  I had to go outside, look through my phone records, and call Melissa to ask her last name.  I dialed the number, and I heard 'Hello, this is Lisa.'  Oops.  I went back inside to see the same security guard and told him "I am here to see Lisa Epplinger.  Not Melissa.  sorry."  I got a temporary badge and had a seat.

3) The new trainees (there were five of us) had to do the obligatory thing and have a tour of the building.  I ran into two people during the tour.  Like, literally.  I almost tripped one because I wasn't paying attention, and the other person kind of shoved me.  Great first impression.  ha!

4) There were a few points during the day when conversation was lagging.  I hate long silences, so I chimed in to the group (made up of the manager of the Apple store, a young mom, a woman who had lipstick on her teeth the whole morning, and a lady dressed in green.).  I said "geez, I've never worked in a company this big."  nobody said anything.  I learned quickly, not to talk for the rest of the day.

I go back to Wells Fargo tomorrow, same time, same place.  They do serve Starbucks there, so that 's exciting.  And I heard that I might be handling the loans taken out by famous celebrities.  As long as I enter through the correct doors, know the name of my supervisor, and keep my mouth shut, it's going to be a fun day tomorrow!

Whistle while you Work

It feels so good to be back in radio!  I feel like the world of Broadcasting and I fit together perfectly, and it makes me so happy to be back where I "belong".  

I drove to downtown Des Moines this morning to meet with my new supervisor and the volunteer coordinator.  I still have to use my GPS to get to downtown, but I have a feeling in a couple of trips, I will never have to use it again (I promise, Dylan).  The radio station studio is located on the 11th floor of the beautiful Hotel Des Moines, which boasts all original wood work and the scariest elevators ever (the one I rode on today shook so much, I started thinking of what I would do if I got stuck on it--cry, probably).  

The volunteer coordinator met me in one of the offices in the studio for a training session.  I won't reveal her name...you'll soon see why.  She was dressed professionally, had a sunny disposition, a slight bit of red lipstick on her teeth...., and she whistled when she talked.   If you've ever seen the show "Arrested Development", picture the scene where Gob loses his tooth and can't pronounce s-words without whistling.  It was hard not to laugh.  Not in a mean way, mind you.  Rather in a 'aww shucks.  You're neat" kind of way.  

Either way, the session lasted one hour and I was out of there!  But not before signing papers, getting my picture taken, and getting my hours for the week.  

If you're wondering, I'll be on 99.1FM, Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 1:00-3:00 PM, and Saturday nights!!!!  I am so excited!  And next time you're in town and want to see the studio or ride the most frightening elevators ever...let me know! :)  

oh, and for more reading enjoyment, here's the radio station website:  www.kfmg991.org.

Ah yes,...and I start at Wells Fargo on Monday.  

No good deed goes unpunished....

That old adage held true in a different way today...the good deed was Heidi's and the punishment was mine.  

I have a normal routine on cold winter mornings...I wake up, go start the car (I would park in the garage but that's where the snakes live) (Oh, and don't give me any of that 'they're hibernating' or 'migrated for the winter' bull...we both know that if I went out there now I'd be swarmed by snakes and never seen again) so as I was saying...I wake up, go start the car, come in and get dressed and ready, grab all of my things, and head to work.  This routine is important because as I pick up my keys to go start the car in the morning I see them sitting next to the pile I emptied from my pocket the night before - Driver's License, Debit Card, Prairie Meadows membership card, Home Depot gift certificate, phone number list, and insurance card.  This morning, however, since I have the greatest wife ever, Heidi started my car for me.  Which means, the very thought of my pile o' stuff didn't even enter my mind until I arrived at work, 45 minutes away, and she texted me to tell me that my ID and every form of money I have are all still there at home.   

So...what does having no ID or money mean for me today?  

First off...no lunch.  At first this didn't seem like a big deal, I've gone without lunch plenty of times when I've been busy.  However, today, when noon rolled around, it felt like I hadn't eaten in days.  I started rifling through my drawers looking for quarters to get something from the vending machine and then it happened.  I found it sitting in the back of a drawer I hadn't opened for months...behind papers and newsletters....it was amazing...the most beautiful thing ever...a can of chili, Hormel Chili flavored with Tabasco to be exact.  I examined the can for swelling and discoloration and then turned it upside down.  There it said - Mfg: 2006, expires December 2008.  The debate lasted only a fraction of a second in my head and then I knew what I would do.  Even though I refuse to drink milk on the day before it expires, if they say the chili is good for two years then certainly it is good for two years + 9 measly days.  Aged like fine wine and with the Tabasco having killed off any bacteria long ago, it was delicious, and I savored every bite.  Thank you Science for giving us Chili that'll last forever - I think I'd be willing to try it at the three year mark if it came to it.

Second...no gas money.  The needle just hit the red when I got to the parking lot this morning and the light just came on.  I believe that means a solid 30 miles worth of driving left... so that's 3/4 of the way home.  Now what about the rest?  Well...I'll only need about 1 gallon of gas to get the rest of the way.  I could siphon it from someone in the parking lot or I could see if scrounging through my desk drawers could bring another miracle.  Given all the windows in the front of our business, each with a fellow employee watching our parking lot, I thought I'd try scrounging first.  Amazingly, my desk came to the rescue again, this time in terms of my savings account.  You see, some people go with mutual funds, some with CDs, others with a simple bank account to store away the money they don't need quite yet...me...I go with another method - unclaimed lottery tickets.  Whenever I have a $1 or $2 winner I don't rush down to claim it, I tuck it away in a drawer or a coat pocket until the time comes that I need it.  Today's ticket was only a month old.  It was a Secret Snowman present and worth...wait for it...3 dollars!  Incredible!  That's enough for 1 1/2, maybe even 2, gallons of gas.  No more worries for me!  I may just spend a few minutes doing doughnuts in the parking lot or just let my car idle for the last hour of work today, either way, I'm sure everything will work out now.

In the end, all I can say is that all is right with the world.  The two greatest things, Science and Gambling, came to my rescue today.  And Heidi, know that I'm not blaming you for this, I know you were just helping.  Still, I'm gonna need you to turn on the traffic report, keep your cell phone close, and get out our AAA card cause I've got a fun ride ahead of me - cross your fingers for no traffic jams!

"Is Our First Blog Entry Really Going To Be About Our Cat?"

This is the question Dylan asked me yesterday when I told him that I was going to write about my day out with our cat, Noel.  Was I offended that he acted disgusted about our little feline friend?  Not really.  If anything, it made me want to write the blog even more.  So, to answer his question,...'YES!'

I'll admit.  When I've driven on the highways and bi ways of our grand country and have witnessed pets with their heads out car windows, I've gotten irritated.  When I see little dogs, cats, rabbits, or whatever other domesticated animal riding ''shotgun'' in their owners' vehicles, it blows my mind.  I think the following:  

A)  If your dog moves any more, you're going to crash into a ditch, lady.

B)  I bet you have no friends.

C) I can't believe I've never taken Noel out driving with me...

Well, Noel did  go with me yesterday!  I wanted to visit my grandmother and aunt in the Yale/Guthrie Center area and I thought it might be fun to take the cat with.  I put a few ratty shirts in the bottom of her pet taxi for cushioning, packed her treats in my purse (in case she started dying of hunger), and then shoved her in her little taxi.  Away we went!  

After 20 minutes of ''meow, meeeeeow, MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOWWW"...I finally let her out of her cage to roam free around my car.  At first, the experience was horrifying.  Noel would try to jump onto the dash.  She would want to hide by the brake pedal.  She would try to unlock the child safety locks and jump out of the car to her freedom (I swear, I actually thought that!).  But after a few more minutes had passed, something wonderful happened.  She climbed up on my shoulder, stopped meowing, and rested.  She slept and looked out the window the rest of the way.  'So, this is why people take their pets on the road with them!  This is what I've been missing!  Dylan and I are going to do this for the rest of our lives!'  These were all the thoughts that had crossed my mind.

...until Noel and I drove home.

Noel's constant meowing and my worrying about her health and bladder function sort of put a damper on my thoughts of feline travel.  We got home.  We ate.  Noel napped.  The End.  

...this story was a bit anti-climatic, huh?  Either way, I haven't decided if I will take our cat on another car ride again.  And I've decided not to judge people with pets in their cars....at least the people with dogs and cats.  If I see anymore people with rabbits roaming around in the back seat, I'll flip!

What we got cookin'

Hi everyone...welcome to Dylan and Heidi's new blog. I'm not sure why I started with "everyone" since I'm quite sure that there are currently no subscribers to this blog...in fact, I haven't even told Heidi about it, yet. ('Hey Heidi....we have a blog now!') However, I'm hoping that shortly all of our family and friends, not to mention droves of people we've never even met, will be checking in regualrly to see just what is up with us. Heidi and I are doing great and decided to start the new year (2009) out with the presentation of a blog so that we can 1) have a forum to discuss those awkward moments that "we" tend to wind up in all the time, 2) share some of our funny stories becasue the positive reinforcement is good for our egos, 3) have something to do other than wailing on the drums and belting out "Any way you want it" on Rock Band 2 everynight, and 4) get with the times...seriously...doesn't everyone have a blog now. Anyway, there will be lots more to come, so from Heilan, Deidi, the next Brangelina, or whatever you want to call us...thanks for reading.